Help Is Just One Admin Away

I’m a huge helper. Enneagram number 2 post child – right here. However, I cannot get to the end of a work week and feel like I’ve helped out my work/job more than I’ve helped out my family. That guts me. When I used to open my laptop at home, my husband will ask, in a pure heart, “how long are you going to be on that?” I rarely open my laptop at home anymore. I’m not talking about Easter or Christmas week or camp week – I get it! I’m talking about a routine that continually puts your husband and kids and loved ones on the back burner. This also includes YOU! I am constantly fighting to not let work win because my family is the glass ball that cannot be dropped.

A few years ago, I had a really tough year.  I had two kids at the time and 3 high level bosses. Our church was going through a hard situation. My dad had emergency open heart surgery then a few weeks later I lost my grandpa. Stress hits me in the form of sleep and I was only sleeping 4-5 hours a night.

My life was out of whack. I was working constantly. I had a lot of uphold at work. I wanted to impress a new leader and somehow hang on and keep the joy with everything else going on. It was a terribly hard year. I was constantly running on empty and felt like I was raising up the white flag.

Now…  that I have goals and boundaries…I have way more humility, Jesus and joy in my life. I needed to understand AND ACCEPT: my role and achievements don’t define me; whether at home or at work. Not everything hinges on me. I can only do this job with a lot of Jesus, a wonderful husband and a gracious boss. (Extra tip for all parents: move by the grandparents.) 

In those hard few months, I learned to:

1. Be honest about your limitations.
2. Model for your “team” that strength includes stepping back.
3. Lead for authenticity, not performance.

Goals are not additional things to accomplish, but the very thing that pulls us out of the drowning feelings… Here are some examples of previous goals of mine:

1. Exercise at least 3x/week post baby.
2. Improve scripture memorization in Bible study.
3. Pump for first 6 months of baby.
4. Read 20 books.
5. Write at least one blog post a month.
6. Better calendar rhythms/planning.
   1. Model week for me and CK. Concrete “Death By Meeting” (Patrick Lencioni) schedule.
   1. Better tracking rhythm for meals, calendar, travel.
7. Build and invest in All Staff execution team.
8. Meet/Learn from EA Mentor/Friend.

As you can see, there are tasks I already do: reading, exercising, tracking my leader’s trips/meals. Thinking about all the things we have to accomplish in a day, a week or a month, we may slowly drown. Everything is important. Everything is urgent. It feels overwhelming, but setting goals gives us a life preserver. A life-saving rescue device when we are drowning. The waves still come but now (with goals) you have something to hold onto. You can see the horizon and look back and see what you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve really swam.

Make goals of your every day/week/month existing to dos. Those are your goals. Start with small habits that you want to maintain. Stick with what works and feel successful. Goals don’t need be extravagant. They need to be reachable, or else we will automatically feel like we’re failing. Reminder to always be a student of growth, no matter what season of life you are in!